This Is A MotherF@$%ing Blog

I use this thing to whine and vent so much, and I appreciate everyone who reads and comments. And guys, if you don't want to, i obviously cannot force you, but if you guys would leave comments with your names, that would really help me, because attaching thoughts to a face makes it easier to interpret them. But please, do whatever you are comfortable with.

Good things have been happening, lately. Well... bad things too, but I am not going to pay those any attention. Fuck those things.

I have newly re-gained self-confidence. If you are a woman and you even suspect I think you are attractive, you should prepare to get flirted with. And if you area guy, and you even suspect I dislike you, prepare to get your ass handed to you intellectually and then if you deem it necessary, physically.

I am in a mood to hug someone with boobs and soft skin and the mood to punch someone hairy with a big mouth.

Look at him. He is just asking for it.

I'm sitting here. Slightly high. And all I can think about is how much I want to play Pokemon and have sex. Traditionally, people who day dream about both of those only get to do one, but I am hoping for both.

I don't know if enough people read this or not, but next time I write, I will answer, honestly, any question that is asked of me in the comments for this. Just sounds likes something fun to do.

My Failed Attempts to End Loneliness

I haven't written anything in a long time, because I assumed that no one cared. I found out someone did care, at least a little. I am sorry to anyone else who potentially cared.

I think a lot of people that know me, and I mean REALLY know me, know that I am really lonely. I have friends, but I am lonely on a deeper level. Basically, I really wish I could fall in love. It is really lame and cheesy. I know. It is just how I feel.

Before very recently, I lacked the backbone to even talk to a girl. I almost wish I had never developed that backbone. I have Asperger's which means I cannot properly communicate with people. Over the past few months, I have had my first 3, genuine infatuations and my first 3, true failures.

First was Kristen. Not much to it, I guess. I have written about this plenty. It was only a partial failure on my part and mainly a fault of juxtaposition.

Second was Ashley. She was the first and only person I ever met with Asperger's. Super nice. Super beautiful. Lot's in common. I felt comfortable with her, so I asked her relatively quickly, at least quickly for my awkward self. She said no. She was nice. She is a good friend now. I am not remorseful about it.

Last was Nicki. I wrote her, explaining how I felt (it was smooth if I say so myself), and I asked for her number. She gave it to me. I really fucked up there. I didn't act properly. I tried texting her, and it was really lame. I even knew she hates texting. I am and was just too terrified to actually call. I don't know if my chance is gone or not, but it probably is and I am not going to make a fool of myself. I feel really bad about this one. She is really cool and unbelievably beautiful. I've been doing my best to at least be her friend, since she is so awesome.

I blame most of my failure on how awkward I am. I try not to be, but it ends in perpetual failure. I also blame some of it on simply being unattractive. It also probably has something to do with not being very confident. I don't know how many women actually read my blog but if there are any....which of those problems do you think it is?

I Suuuuuuck At

I have absolutely nothing to say, but this is an acknowledgment, that I saw the most recent comment on my last post. I will actually write something tomorrow, but after almost 2 months, it is probably way too late.
And even if it may be futile, I will check back every day.